Do you allow things to grow old?
We’ve been taught to consume with a fear of old and an artificial need for new.
“Don’t fix it; get a replacement.
There’s a stain; get a new one.
I’m bored, let’s purchase something fresh!”
So…how old do you let your things get?
Some people buy a new shirt or pair of pants as often as every month or even every week. Why? Do their clothes wear out faster than other peoples’? No. It’s because we’re brought up to consume and seek thrills in new things, and we’re taught that we won’t be as desirable or as interesting if we’re seen with the same hat we were wearing yesterday.
So I want to challenge you to love the old you have.
Love the holes in your jeans.
Love the fact that your computer takes a little longer to load.
Love the dents in your car.
Love the dents in your table.
Love the dents in your friends.
I’m not saying let things fall into disrepair. I’m asking you to unlearn the constant dissatisfaction we’re taught and exchange that negativity for affection for the things that have been with you for a month, a year, a lifetime.
I think that’s a good trade. Dissatisfaction for affection.
You have nothing to lose by giving up trying to gain.
Bwah!
] chloe [
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I’m Scottish but spent a year living with Palestinians. As I was lying in bed last night I was remembering the traditions that they have there – that when someone got something new such as an item of clothing, friends congratulate them. Getting something new is/was seen as special and not everyday. Also, if you say to someone that you like something of theirs, they feel obliged to offer it to you. I think this is a useful attitude to have as apposed to the ‘it’s mine’ attitude that most of us have.
Oh that’s awesome, Julie
That sound like a lovely tradition.
I told a few people a bit ago whenever they came to my house “let me know if you want to take anything.” I think it might’ve weirded them out, so I don’t do that anymore hehe.
] chloe [
Hahahaha! I was going to do the same.
I think it’s so important to question these things.
“we’re brought up to consume and seek thrills in new things, and we’re taught that we won’t be as desirable or as interesting if we’re seen with the same hat we were wearing yesterday.”
I came across the Six Items Or Less project (http://sixitemsorless.com) recently, where participants pledged to wear only six main items of clothing for a month. One of the biggest surprises was that colleagues, even partners, didn’t really notice they were wearing any less variety of clothing than before!
The thrill of new things it’s a big allure for most of us, but it doesn’t need to be new purchases. If we can switch that (what I think is natural) desire for new stimulation to seek out new experiences rather than head to the shops through habit, it’s got to be much better for us.
I still have a certain pleasure (however fleeting) from buying something new, even something small like a new flavour of shower gel. I wonder what the root of that is, how much is exercising the “power” we have to buy, and how much is the thirst for new experience.
I think that’s so telling – that their partners didn’t even notice.
It’s a really good point too – seeking new experiences rather than new stuff. So much more worth it and memories are much more long lasting!
Chloe,
This post made me smile. I’ve made so many changes in my life recently associated with this post. For example, I stopped buying a morning drink on my way to work…..Instead I make a smoothie every morning at home for breakfast. Does it take more time? Yes…Is it as exciting as buying a delicious ice tea every morning? No…But its so much more scrumptious because I made it and because I’m not indulging on buying some treat along with it. I’m currently wearing pants with a small hole that isn’t visible but that I can totally feel. My computer is four years old and I love it – wouldn’t give it up for anything. Yesterday I threw out some sandals because they Broke – I had worn them all summer.
Most importantly, I think this also applies to relationships. I’ve been with my husband for 8 years (married for 3)….and sometimes we, like any couple, get tired of each other. But its learning and appreciating that affection that you have and that you would have with nobody else, that is wonderful.
That’s really beautiful Carolina : ) thank you.
It sounds like you truly are loving each other, dents and all hehe ; )
[And congrats on giving up your daily morning spend!]
When I stain my beautiful clothes or my rug sometimes or something else I love, my husband says I add character to it – and after a while, I end up liking the new version. Don’t get me wrong – I prefer the pristine condition! But I like your take on this!
!
Hehe. Of course, I cringe a little when something “bad” happens to something “good,” but hey – people pay extra for fake-stained and fake-dented and fake-shredded clothes, furniture, dishes, etc. This is just the DIY route ^_^
I love my old stuff, especially books which I’ve read many times and boots which have taken me many places. Last winter I had two old pairs of boots resoled. They were SO much nicer than new ones. And my favorite friends are the ones with which I feel a comfortable familiarity, as if it were just yesterday I’d last seen them, even when it’s been years.
Yay for old stuff!
Old books are the best : ) I love how they smell so much!
i so agree… i’ve been constantly told that i should polish my car or get those scratches fixed. i still love my car because it gets me from A to B faster. sometimes, people just forget the purpose of the thing they love, like having clothes to wear instead of having the trendiest clothes.
That’s so true Shang – your car will work just as well, waxed or not. It sounds like you’ve got a pretty good grasp of this! I like it : )
My parents used to tell me stories of the days when a person would wear their “Sunday best”, which I thought to be a funny thing as a child. I’m no spring chicken either, so when did the need to constantly replace everything begin? It must have been gaining popularity over a number of years, to the point of being rediculous, as you have pointed out here.
“Dissatisfaction for affection” is a great trade, along with repair, reuse and recycle.
Hehe. Sunday best. That’s so funny. Such a different world ^_^ Thanks for writing Joanne!
Another fantastic, thoughtful post, Chloe! So much truth in this. “Newer! Bigger! Shinier!” has become so predictable and uninspiring. Your post gives us much to think about, like appreciating and seeing the value in what we already have. It actually inspired me to create my very first (real) post on my blog. Thank you for such a kind, caring, inspiring -and don’t forget CUTE!- blog.
-Eadie
Aw thank you Eadie – that’s really sweet. Of course cute is job #1. All else is incidental ; )
I really enjoyed your post. Such an interesting point that most of our wardrobes are potentially a lifetime’s worth of clothing. Wow. Thank you!
I think how we feel about objects wearing out is connected to how we feel about our bodies wearing out. I think it scares us. It scares me. I take comfort in this quote:
“As a white candle In a holy place, So is the beauty Of an aged face”–Joseph Campbell
That’s lovely Adena : ) thank you. I think what you’re saying makes total sense. We develop a sense of self with our stuff, so seeing it fall apart seems like it would remind us of our own wearing out. Lovely quote.
Ah, but it can be very difficult to wean yourself from the novelty of the new. I am trying to live with less stuff and appreciate the things I have more. But I have to confess that I miss the Amazon boxes arriving at my door. I miss shopping as recreation, even as I recognize its downside. There is a thrill in new things. Can we also find satisfaction in using and enjoying old favorites?
That’s awesome you are Stephanie – I think we totally CAN find satisfaction in using old favorite things…and even better satisfaction in things that aren’t things…family, friends, doing things, experiences, etc : ) Thanks for writing!
Great post and very thoughtful. I think it’s comforting to have those old reliable things around that you know you love and that’s why they are growing old with you. I try not to look on them as old though, I look on them as comfortable and comforting.
Yeah yeah Sarita! Rewording things has a lot of power. “Old” has negative connotations to us, but it really shouldn’t. I like that – call it comfortable, not old : )
I get nagged all the time to replace stuff.. it seems to be doing fine thought:) sometimes i do have to catch myself replacing things that do not need replacing
Tsk tsk. heh. No. I do it sometimes too. I almost replaced my 5 year old purse this week…things were falling out the bottom…eventually I was just going to lose my wallet or something. But I sewed it up and bam! I feel like I have a new purse that I already love dearly : )
I work for an online retailer, which is really quite the personal contradiction some days. For me it is personally confusing to see in our office and read about online via Twitter and Facebook, the “thrill of victory” one gets from acquiring. I have certainly been there myself, but no longer. I love my coworkers and in many ways I really love my job, but it’s an interesting juxtaposition to be sure.
Victory! I paid for something! hehe.
Thanks for writing Annalisa – it’s a strange world to live in. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with retailers, or online retailers of course…just how we feel about and use them : )
Very thought-provoking post. I totally agree. It seems that in our society everything has to be brand new; if you don’t own the last car/dress/phone/laptop/etc they want you to feel like you’re missing out. Products are not made to last, and sometimes it’s very hard to fix them, or to find someone who can fix them. My grandmother used to say “One who spends more, spends less” (loosely translated from Italian!). She meant that if you buy good quality items, they will last you a very long time, and you will save money in the end.
And that’s what my husband and I are striving to do – buy only things we truly love, and that are good quality, and live with them as long as possible.
That’s awesome Cristina ^_^ sounds like you’re on a good path. It reminds me of the old U.S. built products…lasted forever. Of course it was all heavy metal and industrial wartime aesthetics…but really quality stuff. Now, things are made to be used and tossed :-S
I love the Simple Rabbit. I’m a sucker for rabbits and I *LOVE* minimalism. I’ve been inspired by the missminimalist blog and now I have the SRS to inspire me. Thank you! BTW, I let things grow old. I used my salad spinner till it totally fell apart, even though it was cracked and came loose all the time and I drove my Volvo wagon until it was practically dead and then donated it to a car charity.
Hehe. Thanks Callie!! That’s totally awesome. I love wearing things out – I have a $30 pair of Keds that’s 2 years old…you can see my socks through the torn up soles…literally. They’re the most comfy things ever though ^_^
Another awesome post! I had a hard time breaking the habit of constantly buying new clothes after I stopped growing out of them. Now that I have stopped my growth spurts, I am trying to not buy new clothes all the time and donating the clothes I no longer wear to charity. This way, I can wear out the clothes I have and actually use. I am also bad at updating technology before it is worn out…
Hi Nathan ^_^ yeah, technology is a tough one…that and fashion are probably the worst “keep up” markets that have been manufactured for us :-/ I’m pretty good with clothes, but I’m still learning the tech part hehe
I just found your blog today and I LOVE this post. I’m not perfect in letting things grow old, who is, but I try. I have an old car with a laundry list of (relatively minor) things wrong with it. It’s too old to bother fixing the dents and scratches, but it runs (more or less) well, and it’s gotten me many places over the 5 years I’ve had it.
I’m not into stylish (painful!) shoes, I love comfort and familiarity, so I have no problem wearing out the soles of my Birkenstocks. I always know I can just take them in and get new bottoms put on. The one pair of tennis shoes I do have, I am always careful to treat them well and keep them out of reach of bunny teeth. I’m expecting them to last me 3 years at least.
I could go on and on, but a big thing that motivates one to conserve possessions is when your time and money is required elsewhere. I am a mother, and as such, I know my son’s tennis shoes or clothes won’t last him 3 years like mine will, because he’s growing. Having a “better place” for your funds to go is an excellent way to break the cycle of always having to acquire “new”…
Oh Beka! Thank you ^_^ I like letting shoes wear down too. I could be better about buying shoes that will age better…I know if I bought a really good pair of boots, they could last me my life. But I just walk super cheap things to shreds : )
Anyways, I’m glad you liked the post, and thanks for writing!
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